Year in Review

A Summary/timeline of Chuck's 2004

Last week of January I fly out-London Bound. The business class on American Airlines was nice. The gay flight attendant made a damn good bloody Marry, best I ever had, and I had two.

I have a week off where I get accustomed to my new flat. I start slowly learning British. Blimey, Bugger, Flat, Nick it, YOB, Franz Ferdinand, God Save the Queen, Fuck All, queue, Telly, BBC, Eggs, Fried Bread, Fish and Chips, Pints, Guiness, Carling, Pubs.

I move a lot of furniture around and put together two shoe racks that consisted of Wood Beams and 50 screws, no starter holes, lots of blisters. I Drill holes in the wall and hang a mirror. I get connected to the internet. I get surround sound.

February 2nd. I start my new job. Full time employee who's just been through a time warp. Compliance officer, confirming the world is crazy and nothing particularly matters, lends credence to my consciouness theory of life. I meet the coworkers and begin the grind of learning something entirely new. Begin worrying about the Series 7, realize that I know nothing about business, but yet here I am.

March 20th. Rushed into a car on a Saturday night after Tina is not feeling well. We end up at some Indian Engagement party. Bigger then I thought. Tina and her mother not feeling well. Tina's dad a bit shy. I end up having to put on a social face in a world of cultural activity, loud music, new and spicey food, in a room full of strangers expecting me to dance. I meet Avinash and find an ally.

Sometime in March or April I trip as shrooms are legal here. I listen to music on the couch while Tina sleeps. I realize its awkward to shroom with Tina, thoughts of being single dance in my head, but there will be a time for meditation and figuring it all out before death overcomes. Bob Dylan comes on, tangled up in blue, whilst I land on Toonami and Dragon Ball Z, originally a trick I picked up from Bubba, dragon Ball Z goes well with shrooms. Tangled up in blue, and on the screen a walrus wrestles with a blue taffy like thing. Yes the world makes sense.

I am now studying for the Series 7. A 250 multiple choice test, that requires you to answer 175 correctly. I always passed when I needed too. I always found multiple choice easy. I do the readings at work. I take a practice exam. I get in the 40's and I am worried, but my wedding approaches.

May 22nd. My sister and James arrive in England. Miss the cab. Jeff, James, Gary, arrive in England. Everything is set. We tour London have a great time.

Wednesday May 26th. A wild bachelor party ensues, with a few coworkers, and my closest friends. Tina's mother passes away. I wake up hung over, with vomit, in a strange hotel room. Phone over my head. I pick it up. Think I am in a bad movie. Think its a bad trip. I spend the day hung over, sick and staying at Tina's fathers house. Many relatives pass through. Instead of a wedding, my friends participate in a funeral. Vik flies off to Ireland. I ponder things, brain hurts, temper flares, nerves shot, I almost lose it.

Funeral ceremonies full of color and help mend some wounds. Work keeps me distracted, I plunge ahead with the test.

June 17th. Less than a month later, my grandfather dies. I can not be there for the funeral. Life hates me.

July 12th. Series 7 course. Taught by this guy from Texas, loud mouth, humorist, pilot in Vietnam, bush lover. Dumb fuck. You would think as a Viet vet, he would know he got screwed and hate them more, bush sucks cock and those evil bastards in the white house will get it along with all their supporters, hopefully next year.

July 17th. Married in London. Good time, tina's uncle Michael passes out but is ok. My parents visit. We get drunk with Tina's friends, glad its all over.

July 26th. I need to get 70 percent to pass the exam. I get 67 percent. God that sucks.

I think I tripped again sometime in July. I took too much and thought I melted into the couch. I thought my head became part of the kitchen sink, and it wasn't a good trip, though I think there was an entire three hours of good stuff, be damned if I remember it.

August 7th. Old friend of Tina has a barbecue, what a lame fucking party, me and Tina fight. I've almost had it with life.

As if Life is not ugly enough, I now have to faggots living downstairs from me, replacing the idiot students, lordy I need to move, may the gods stop fucking with me dammit.

Friday August 13th. I go to visit Windsor castle. Three day weekend, filled with wine, castles, more wine, and a bunch of assholes arguing in the room next door, disturbing my peace. I have an extreme case of deja vu in a stair case, the hotel was eerie and quiet, for some reason I was not comfortable or felt safe there. Maybe its cause they filmed the hammer horror dracula movies there?

August 26th. Yah I failed the series 7 again. 68 percent. I am waiting for shit to fall from the sky, dogs to love cats, and a giant dildo to float down and kill me. Life sucks.

September 18th. My brother flies to London. Then we all fly to India. Another wedding, I see the taj majal, Delhi, and we fly back. I get the hives. We buy vodka in Delhi at night, the air smells of incense, the people are always out, there is a fleeting moment where I enjoyed it, finally somewhere new and different...

My plants are a success! I sample some before taking the test another time.

What conservative, immoral, lying, uneducated, religious, sack of fucking shit, said pot was bad? Cause I passed my series 7 with an 82 percent, suck that Jesus. I pass exam, drink champagne, get threatened by faggot neighbors, craft theory that Jesus was random crazy person who liked anal with camels, pope should be stripped naked and left to die in the cold, all anti abortionists should be denied hospital care, and anyone who votes bush in November should watch their children die of cancer because of pollution.

November 2nd bush wins. I go into exile in Europe.

November 25th. After all that has happened I make it through. A light forms at the end of the tunnel and a series of good events occur. Culminating in Chuck A Palooza a successful house party, full of drinking, honey blunts, bush bashing, music, and I fall asleep from exhaustion.

2005: I live.