Pigs
Thought I would post something honest, because the truth is as it is. And let this be a reminder of what you read in the media about men in divorce, aka Bill Murray, as the other side of a Man's story.
I woke up this morning. Looking forward to Saturday. I had plans to clean my work clothes, organize, and study for my Life in the UK test. I need to take this exam to obtain permanent residency. I was fine, calm, and looking to go to an American BBQ place. As a break, as I have not a vacation since January and work is incredibly stressful and unrewarding, I thought I would go to an American BBQ place this afternoon and then a pub.
I woke up, and found Tina naked in my study, I walked out revolted. And she said it was her house she could do what she wanted. From there is told me I need to move out to a flat. Now we agreed rightly or wrongly, I started the divorce, I would buy her out. I would be giving her more of the equity, the car, and help her financially with her move, despite that she has the same in savings as me and her father has cash.
My emails were broken into, my accounts, previously. She has had her friend over several nights and they went through my entire room talking about me, while I could here everything in bed.
I thought I could hold out until the sale of the house and avoid lawyers, and instead the following happened.
After Tina left the study she started in on my moving and renting. I do not want to move, get locked into a rental contract, when I know I am buying a flat in the next month or so. And all the fees. I do not have a car and the thought of spending more of my weekends walking around looking at dump flats, and finding one I can afford and near a commute to work. The idea of losing more of my time off to move. Only to move again.
To set up new utilities, to take time off again for installation of Internet. And all the hassles in the UK of setting these things up is horrible. And to go through it twice?
I will also have to pay a monthly rent, my mortgage payment, and then half of the utilities in the house, this will cause me serious financial problems, so that by the time I do move, I can expect to be broke with savings wiped out. Meaning probably not trip to the united states or anything, as usual, Chuck will have to wait.
So that next year, when my vacation time does come around someone will die, I will get sick, or come down with cancer, and have something else go wrong, because that is the pattern of my life? Feeling sorry for myself? No. Those who know me, know this is what happens, and next blog i can log you a history of my life and show you that anytime, I try to enjoy something, something horrible always goes wrong.
Instead I was trapped.
So me and Tina argue. As usual I tell her just go way be quiet. No I will not move out, leave me a lone I say. Then the nagging. She stands outside the door, constantly saying it. I say no. Keeps going. Then my anger management snaps, and yes I guess I have a problem, so fucking what, at least I am not a back stabbing liar like the people at work, at least I do not start wars and get people killed, and in no way did I touch Tina or hurt her. I just yelled, and yes I snapped again, who wouldn't? I am under immense pressure, worked my whole life and for what? This planet is screwed up, full of idiots, and everything for me has been a tremendous let down. Yet from the outside everyone thinks i have it easy? Yet teenagers walk around with better clothes, stare you down, and can knife you, and play video games all day and I have been a sucker for trying to do the right things in the wrong world.
So she nags. Non stop. I yell, she nags, she opens the door, nags. Then it was a trapped, I through a very bad fit. So what. So i can't control it, I am a man, I have testosterone, I am under horrible stress, I yelled. I yell bad things because I am smart, cold, unemotional, and on the edge of either killing myself or taking a few deserving scum with me.
And then she set me up. I had just calmed down, when who comes into my room. A PIG. A cop.
And then I get lectured by a tough cop. The same cops who do nothing about knife crime or the scum on the streets. He tells me next time he would toss me to the ground? Tina plays the injured wife act to a Tee. Yah he would throw me, bald, uneducated, and bigger than me, how tough.
So I get lectured, talked down too, and judged by a pig. Who tells me i waste my money on therapy, and that I have problems. This is the problem with life, no context, so he can say that because he doesn't know what i have done. But a Muslim or someone in a cult, they are OK. But me, doing everything right, rational, and being fucked over by things out of my control, I am the problem in this world. I am the one.
So Tina trapped me. So now, I was told, I need to get out of the house. Tina has a place to stay, so she left. Now I am forced to move to a flat with everything going on, I can't take time out of work. I will lose vacation days now, for moving, and utilities, only to pay another rent, another set of utilities, and live out of a box for what could be weeks, if not months, if not half the year. No idea when the house will sell. i could lose the flat I wanted, and be living out of a box with nothing to hang up cause you cant decorate when you rent, and all my items in boxes, because why unpack when I will move again at some point.
So my life is ruined.
All that I have of course....OF COURSE. Is work. Sure the weather will be nice for work. Sure nothing goes wrong at work. JUST WORK. Hours of it, and for what? I get it all dumped on me, expected to work every weekend, expected to work long hours day in day out all year round no let up. Then to come home for all my WORK. To get intimidated by teenagers, by kids, and fear I could get stabbed. To fear I could be robbed with nothing to help or defend myself. And then to come home now, to a barren room, like a prison. With no friends but co workers, no one to go out, to eat on my own, but to curb eating out cause of money.
To eat bad food, sit in a room, with my life in a box and to have been lectured by a pig. To now confront my therapist and ask yah is it worth paying this, am I just a yuppie idiot who walks feels sorry for myself? I can't control my temper, I hate the world and what its done to me, but that is MY FAULT apparently.
So why shouldn't I kill myself? Why? What so great? Turning thirty? Bad liver bad lungs? Cancer in my family? For what? Move back to the US, for what? Low pay, no time off, working my ass off again? For what? A bad neighborhood?
So here I am, now moving.
But I have a bit of vengeance left, just a enough energy to do the following:
All deals are off. She gets 50-50. I will pay thousands now for a lawyer, who will call me Monday. I will find an apartment, move, and pack this week.
All utilities, mortgage and everything in the house will be 50-50.
She thinks she can make me broke? I will now force her to have a lawyer. she is now only getting 50% of the house. And with the lawyer I hope to squeeze as much out of her as possible. I got told I have to act like an adult, well in TRUTH, that is what I did, i was going to support her financially and make this split OK, but she FUCKED IT UP. So now you can all call me a bad guy, but you see SHE FUCKED IT UP, so now, I GET REVENGE. That is called rational logic something only I and 5 other people on the planet possess. And yes it makes me fucking happy to do this now, I deserve something. I am looking forward to my half of the house, which will cover my moving costs, all the money I will lose each month on rent, and all at HER EXPENSE as I was not seeing that money anyways. The longer the house takes to sell the more I lose, but not as much as her, because she will have to battle my lawyer.
The Good Dr. Thompson, Had a lawyer, now I am going for Dr. Gonzo. And Dr. Gonzo wants half.
Call me crazy, i am not killing myself just yet, I have a few years of vengeance and some scores to settle and that is what you are all afraid of. Bring on the PIGS.
"I'm for law and order, the way that it should be.
This song's about the night they spent protecting you from me.
Someone called this outlaw, in some ol' magazine.
New York sent a posse down like I ain't never seen.
Don't you think this outlaw bit has done got out of hand?
What started out to be a joke, the law don't understand.
Was it singing through my nose that got me busted by the man?
Maybe this here outlaw bit has done got out of hand.
We were wrapped up in our music, that's why we never saw,
The cars pull up, the boys get out and the room fill up with law.
They came pounding through the back door in the middle of the song.
They got me for possession of something that was gone, long gone.
Don't you think this outlaw bit has done got out of hand?
What started out to be a joke, the law don't understand.
Was it singing through my nose that got me busted by the man?
Maybe this here outlaw bit has done got out of hand.
Don't you think this outlaw bit has done got out of hand, out of hand?"
Waylon J.
I woke up this morning. Looking forward to Saturday. I had plans to clean my work clothes, organize, and study for my Life in the UK test. I need to take this exam to obtain permanent residency. I was fine, calm, and looking to go to an American BBQ place. As a break, as I have not a vacation since January and work is incredibly stressful and unrewarding, I thought I would go to an American BBQ place this afternoon and then a pub.
I woke up, and found Tina naked in my study, I walked out revolted. And she said it was her house she could do what she wanted. From there is told me I need to move out to a flat. Now we agreed rightly or wrongly, I started the divorce, I would buy her out. I would be giving her more of the equity, the car, and help her financially with her move, despite that she has the same in savings as me and her father has cash.
My emails were broken into, my accounts, previously. She has had her friend over several nights and they went through my entire room talking about me, while I could here everything in bed.
I thought I could hold out until the sale of the house and avoid lawyers, and instead the following happened.
After Tina left the study she started in on my moving and renting. I do not want to move, get locked into a rental contract, when I know I am buying a flat in the next month or so. And all the fees. I do not have a car and the thought of spending more of my weekends walking around looking at dump flats, and finding one I can afford and near a commute to work. The idea of losing more of my time off to move. Only to move again.
To set up new utilities, to take time off again for installation of Internet. And all the hassles in the UK of setting these things up is horrible. And to go through it twice?
I will also have to pay a monthly rent, my mortgage payment, and then half of the utilities in the house, this will cause me serious financial problems, so that by the time I do move, I can expect to be broke with savings wiped out. Meaning probably not trip to the united states or anything, as usual, Chuck will have to wait.
So that next year, when my vacation time does come around someone will die, I will get sick, or come down with cancer, and have something else go wrong, because that is the pattern of my life? Feeling sorry for myself? No. Those who know me, know this is what happens, and next blog i can log you a history of my life and show you that anytime, I try to enjoy something, something horrible always goes wrong.
Instead I was trapped.
So me and Tina argue. As usual I tell her just go way be quiet. No I will not move out, leave me a lone I say. Then the nagging. She stands outside the door, constantly saying it. I say no. Keeps going. Then my anger management snaps, and yes I guess I have a problem, so fucking what, at least I am not a back stabbing liar like the people at work, at least I do not start wars and get people killed, and in no way did I touch Tina or hurt her. I just yelled, and yes I snapped again, who wouldn't? I am under immense pressure, worked my whole life and for what? This planet is screwed up, full of idiots, and everything for me has been a tremendous let down. Yet from the outside everyone thinks i have it easy? Yet teenagers walk around with better clothes, stare you down, and can knife you, and play video games all day and I have been a sucker for trying to do the right things in the wrong world.
So she nags. Non stop. I yell, she nags, she opens the door, nags. Then it was a trapped, I through a very bad fit. So what. So i can't control it, I am a man, I have testosterone, I am under horrible stress, I yelled. I yell bad things because I am smart, cold, unemotional, and on the edge of either killing myself or taking a few deserving scum with me.
And then she set me up. I had just calmed down, when who comes into my room. A PIG. A cop.
And then I get lectured by a tough cop. The same cops who do nothing about knife crime or the scum on the streets. He tells me next time he would toss me to the ground? Tina plays the injured wife act to a Tee. Yah he would throw me, bald, uneducated, and bigger than me, how tough.
So I get lectured, talked down too, and judged by a pig. Who tells me i waste my money on therapy, and that I have problems. This is the problem with life, no context, so he can say that because he doesn't know what i have done. But a Muslim or someone in a cult, they are OK. But me, doing everything right, rational, and being fucked over by things out of my control, I am the problem in this world. I am the one.
So Tina trapped me. So now, I was told, I need to get out of the house. Tina has a place to stay, so she left. Now I am forced to move to a flat with everything going on, I can't take time out of work. I will lose vacation days now, for moving, and utilities, only to pay another rent, another set of utilities, and live out of a box for what could be weeks, if not months, if not half the year. No idea when the house will sell. i could lose the flat I wanted, and be living out of a box with nothing to hang up cause you cant decorate when you rent, and all my items in boxes, because why unpack when I will move again at some point.
So my life is ruined.
All that I have of course....OF COURSE. Is work. Sure the weather will be nice for work. Sure nothing goes wrong at work. JUST WORK. Hours of it, and for what? I get it all dumped on me, expected to work every weekend, expected to work long hours day in day out all year round no let up. Then to come home for all my WORK. To get intimidated by teenagers, by kids, and fear I could get stabbed. To fear I could be robbed with nothing to help or defend myself. And then to come home now, to a barren room, like a prison. With no friends but co workers, no one to go out, to eat on my own, but to curb eating out cause of money.
To eat bad food, sit in a room, with my life in a box and to have been lectured by a pig. To now confront my therapist and ask yah is it worth paying this, am I just a yuppie idiot who walks feels sorry for myself? I can't control my temper, I hate the world and what its done to me, but that is MY FAULT apparently.
So why shouldn't I kill myself? Why? What so great? Turning thirty? Bad liver bad lungs? Cancer in my family? For what? Move back to the US, for what? Low pay, no time off, working my ass off again? For what? A bad neighborhood?
So here I am, now moving.
But I have a bit of vengeance left, just a enough energy to do the following:
All deals are off. She gets 50-50. I will pay thousands now for a lawyer, who will call me Monday. I will find an apartment, move, and pack this week.
All utilities, mortgage and everything in the house will be 50-50.
She thinks she can make me broke? I will now force her to have a lawyer. she is now only getting 50% of the house. And with the lawyer I hope to squeeze as much out of her as possible. I got told I have to act like an adult, well in TRUTH, that is what I did, i was going to support her financially and make this split OK, but she FUCKED IT UP. So now you can all call me a bad guy, but you see SHE FUCKED IT UP, so now, I GET REVENGE. That is called rational logic something only I and 5 other people on the planet possess. And yes it makes me fucking happy to do this now, I deserve something. I am looking forward to my half of the house, which will cover my moving costs, all the money I will lose each month on rent, and all at HER EXPENSE as I was not seeing that money anyways. The longer the house takes to sell the more I lose, but not as much as her, because she will have to battle my lawyer.
The Good Dr. Thompson, Had a lawyer, now I am going for Dr. Gonzo. And Dr. Gonzo wants half.
Call me crazy, i am not killing myself just yet, I have a few years of vengeance and some scores to settle and that is what you are all afraid of. Bring on the PIGS.
"I'm for law and order, the way that it should be.
This song's about the night they spent protecting you from me.
Someone called this outlaw, in some ol' magazine.
New York sent a posse down like I ain't never seen.
Don't you think this outlaw bit has done got out of hand?
What started out to be a joke, the law don't understand.
Was it singing through my nose that got me busted by the man?
Maybe this here outlaw bit has done got out of hand.
We were wrapped up in our music, that's why we never saw,
The cars pull up, the boys get out and the room fill up with law.
They came pounding through the back door in the middle of the song.
They got me for possession of something that was gone, long gone.
Don't you think this outlaw bit has done got out of hand?
What started out to be a joke, the law don't understand.
Was it singing through my nose that got me busted by the man?
Maybe this here outlaw bit has done got out of hand.
Don't you think this outlaw bit has done got out of hand, out of hand?"
Waylon J.
posted by Chuck Deggsy at 12:56 PM
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