Death: Life creator, destroyer, and kicker in the asser

I read today that a suicide bomb, in the near vicinity of a base in Afghanistan, was quite to close to a certain Mr. Bigglesworth Dickeyboy Cheneeroo. Alas, the bomb blew it, literally... and missed. One is reminded of that sense of disappointment, those in the know felt, when poor old Adolf was almost blown to bits giving a speech to moronic German southern white trash, better known as Nazis.
Except Dick, and I do mean, Fucking DICK, is supposed to be on our side! Oh well, just goes to show that evil never seems to die, or check that....those doing evil things in a manipulative way, not random violence like suicide bombers, but the guys who stir them up and the politicians that make war, dictators as well...never seem to die!

That brings me to....drum roll please......DEATH.

I have lately come to terms with said Death. It took past experiences on magic mushrooms basically to get me thinking of consciousness, how programmed we are through language, culture and everything you are fed as a child, that are very conceptions of things like planets and matter are stuck in your head. Just think, most of use see the world as that globe in cartoons, pictures from space, round map globes in the classroom, or styrofoam globes on sesame street. In truth, there is nothing but some air making an atmosphere, a hunk of rock, with some water on it, think of it physically as a meteroite with lakes.
On the evolutionary side, much is asked of why cells age and we seem programmed to die?

My first theory is that old age signals that this guy who is about to lay you, won't be able to support your offspring when his heart kicks the ticker, think Anna Nicole Smith. On the flip side, a guy who sees an old woman, and doesn't have one of those MILF fetishes, would realize that she is barren, no potential offspring. Better luck getting your belly button pregnant on a Thursday night with nothing to do.

My second theory is that in evolutionary terms it fosters diversity. If an animal succeeds and lives forever, well why should it procreate? Or it becomes so dominant it over procreates, limiting diversity. That means that it does not continue to develop new traits in an ever changing world or environment. This means that sure it could be successful and not age for a hundred, maybe thousand years. If it is lucky enough to avoid natural disaster or murder, well then something eventually may happen in its environment. Imagine a population that lives very long lives, based on the fact their bodies do not age. But say the climate changes, think Global Warming, without being interested in fostering offspring and being so successful, a rapid change could wipe them all out, not just a few individuals but the whole species!
Point being, a successful organism, without a self destruct method, could dominate, but only in a geological time sense, short term, and then it would be quite susceptible to wipe out. Also, it may not have a drive to produce more offspring, and thus more genetic mixing and matching. If it lives forever and was conscious, or have certain behavior, it could decide it has plenty of time to decide to mate. Evolution has made the sex drive, very mandatory, and short and sweet. In a world without Viagra, you had to get your rocks off, not wait a hundred years, to decide to finally get laid.
A modern day example would be some species of tortoise. Who live to ripe old ages, so ripe, that a few individuals outlast their damn populations and can not mate, of course at their slow speed, mating was always optional. They thought they had time, just ask one of those last of their species tortoises that live in some island, and have to stare at dirty liberal, rich kiss ass, ivory tower professors who cream their pants every time the thing looks like it might hump a species close enough to it, but that runs away from the old bugger.

How does that apply to me? Well I thought, death is obviously the kick in the ass for me to do shit. Without it, we all would procrastinate. Not buy that Moby Grape CD? Shit with my life, I might not be alive tomorrow! Best to buy that puppy now.
Also, who wants to live forever. I am bored now, I could not imagine how I would feel at eight hundred. There are only so many variations of food, sex, and things in this world. Think of a video game with the cheat code...BUT think of a mushroom trip and your mind is open to all sorts of things outside of this particular conscious, who needs a soul when its all in YOUR fucking head, not mine buddy!

We would be spiteful little gods if we lived forever, not cool calm vampires. And sorry Anne Rice, not GAY vampires, living forever, would not turn us into queers, quite the opposite, it would turn us into a bunch of stay at home, lazy, miserable masturbators.

Also, next time you worry about death, think if Ol Dicko Cheney was going to live forever, what a horrible existence it would be!